Conversion Experience
by KnightNight7203
Summary: "And when are we going to see you -inside- the church?" In which Albert discovers religion thanks to the sisters - and abandons the practice of it equally quickly.


**Standard disclaimers apply. I also mean no disrespect to religion, Christianity or otherwise - I just thought the reference to the church in the show was funny and wanted to write about the boys' reactions to that aspect of life. Nor does this necessarily reflect my views - just what I think theirs might be.**

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"We're going out," Race informs Albert as he passes him on his way out the door. "Gonna meet some of the factory girls at Jacobi's. You coming?"

To everyone's surprise, Albert shakes his head. "Nah, I can't. I'm studying."

Race does a double take, and the other boys' eyebrows creep up their foreheads. "You're what?"

"Studying this here book," Albert repeats. "One of the sisters gave it to me during that storm yesterday."

They decide it's best not to mention that the book isn't even open. Mush grabs it and squints at the title embossed on the cover. "The Holy Bible? That's that do-gooder book, ain't it?"

Albert shakes his head emphatically. "It's instructions. For getting to a place where you ain't hungry and cold all the time. God only takes his favorites, see?" He takes the book quickly back. "An' me holdin' this means I'm one of them."

Race rolls his eyes. "Well, you can still come – just bring the stupid book," he suggests. "Maybe you'll even impress the ladies."

"Sorry, fellas." Albert isn't swayed. "I'm sure you'll be fine without me."

"Next thing you know he's gonna be goin' to church when it ain't raining," Finch mutters.

"You think he's got a thing for one of the sisters?" Race asks in a stage whisper. Mush makes a face.

"They's all old," he says doubtfully. "It's gotta be something else."

Albert gets up and swats the boys away. "I just wanna be safe, that's all," he says in a petulant voice. "The sisters promised things would get better if I prove myself."

"Yeah, whatever," Race says, unmoved by his speech. "Stay here and go hungry, for all we care. See what good a stack of paper does you then." With that, he and the other boys make for the door, waving sarcastically at Albert as they depart.

He shifts the book to a straighter position on the table in front of him and leans back with his arms crossed, painfully aware of how his stomach starts to growl the second the door bangs shut.

It takes less than fifteen minutes for his resolve to weaken as his stomach grows louder and louder. In under twenty he's arrived at Jacobi's as well, though he chooses to sit at the quieter table in the corner occupied by only Specs, Davey, and Les.

He orders a water and everything seems to be going fine. Davey is reading from a stack of big, dusty old books, Les has appropriated one of Jack's pens and is etching the letters of his name on a napkin, and Specs is fiddling with a fork balanced on an empty plate. Then Albert's elbow tips over his glass, and liquid pours out across the table and into his lap.

"Damn – I mean, darn!" he yelps, lunging for a napkin and mentally cursing his lapse in good behavior.

He looks around guiltily for Jacobi before reaching for the salt shaker, upturning it over his hand. Once he has a small pile in his palm, he tosses it behind him. If he gets caught wasting he'd get thrown out for sure, but he isn't willing to risk angering the Lord. Specs sputters indignantly and brushes particles out of his hair.

"You don't throw salt over your shoulder," Les says, giggling. Specs smacks Albert on the arm, and he scowls.

"Sure ya do. It keeps the devils away." Albert extracts the Bible from the puddle of water. Thankfully it's only the outside of the cover that got damp. He isn't actually sure if he's expected to return it at some point or not.

"Demons," Davey suggests without looking up, flipping a page of the thick volume he's halfway through.

"Huh?"

"There's only one devil," he says. "Multiple demons. They're less powerful or something."

"That's sacrilegious," Albert mutters. "Stop talking bad about them, or they'll drag ya to hell."

"Okay," Specs says, pushing back in his seat where he'd been polishing his glasses and standing up. "Even _I _know that's not right. Have you actually read that book?"

Albert looks questioningly up at him. Specs sighs.

"_This_ book," he says, snatching it off the table and whacking him over the head with it. "The Bible."

Albert glances from Specs to Davey, both of whom are staring at him expectantly. "Wait. You have to _read_ it?" he asks, frowning.

Davey rolls his eyes, and Specs smacks himself on the forehead.

"Duh!" Les shouts enthusiastically.

"Oh." Albert picks up the book and fingers it for a moment, as though weighing his options. "Never mind then. That's too much work. I think I'll take my chances." He shrugs innocently at them, as if completely confused by their incredulous expressions. "To tell ya the truth, I was getting bored anyway."

Leaving the book in question on the table, he turns on his heel and runs out the door. Through the dusty, streaked windows, the other boys can see him catching up to Romeo as he chases after a few girls walking by.

"That's more like it," Race mutters.

Davey just rolls his eyes again before turning back to his own books.

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**Much love,  
KnightNight7203**


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